Now, next up is confidence, and it may shock you to know that every time I step on stage or do a talk, I get nervous every single time. I've been doing this professionally for over 10 years and every single time I still get nervous. But I have enough experience. No, I'm going to make it through it and I'm going to really settle in in the first few seconds.
So the big thing I want you to think about, though, is if you show up like this with a lot of self-doubt is if you don't believe in yourself, why should I? Why would I believe in you if you don't? And things to keep an eye out for is how you talk about yourself, because how you talk about yourself changes how you perceive yourself. So you should avoid using phrases like, I just, I barely, or, oh, it was easy. It wasn't a big deal. You're already underselling yourself. So if you show up and talk about yourself in this way, I'm not going to believe in you. And I think most people will react and say, I'm not naturally confident, I'm more naturally this person. I'm not naturally confident. But the thing you need to know is that confidence is a practice skill and practice or confidence comes with preparation.
So here's a couple of specific things you can do to build your confidence. One is to take notes, write it down. Anytime you get a positive piece of feedback, you get a positive message on Twitter, you get a positive piece of feedback from a manager, or you create a tweet and it goes, well, jot that down, put it in a folder that you can refer back to, to remember the good things that you've done because over time, it's really hard to keep up with those. Another piece of advice is to learn to say no. And specifically in interviews, I think it's natural for us to worry or be scared to say, no, I don't know a certain thing. But if you have the confidence to say, no, I don't know that thing that you're asking about, but I do have this knowledge in a similar field that I can draw parallels to. That tells a very strong story because the biggest mistake you can make in interviewing with me is telling me, you know, something and explain it incorrectly versus just saying, you don't know it to begin with. The other thing that leads to confidence is the fact that you get to control the conversation. Remember, you get to control what the answers are that you give, which means you get to navigate the conversation to things that you feel most comfortable with. And those things should be things that you are excited about, things that you can talk about regardless of the situation.
A lot of people comment that they don't think they could do public speaking, but then you talk to them and they love to talk about their favorite TV show or their favorite framework or something. In an interview scenario, you should be putting yourself in a situation to talk about those things that get you excited. And that's where passion, I think, plays into this. Now, there's some debate about whether passion is required for a job. But from my perspective, I'm absolutely going to hire someone that's passionate versus someone that doesn't seem to care. I think that's important and it will help show up and improve your confidence if you can talk about things that you're passionate about.
Now, the last section is about communication. And I told you I'd mention the interview at Microsoft where I was asked to say, where do I see myself in five years? And I talked about showing up to a barbershop and the conversations and having connections. And I realized looking back at that, that was a terrible answer for a technical job that I was applying for.
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