How to Get a Mentor Without Telling Them

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The video provides insights on how to develop mentorship relationships organically, focusing on engineering mentorship. It starts by discussing the concept of 'mentorship in engineering,' emphasizing the importance of knowledge exchange and role-switching between mentor and mentee. The 'Seagull Effect' is a key point, highlighting the pitfalls of poor mentorship where changes are made without proper guidance. The speaker suggests 'pair programming' as a practical approach to foster micro mentorship sessions. 'Mentorship programs at work' are also recommended for structured learning and career growth. For those facing challenges, it advises 'evaluating mentorship' and finding better partners if necessary. The talk underscores being a good mentee by 'preparing for mentorship,' showing openness and respect for the mentor's time. It also covers 'side projects in mentorship,' explaining how they can enhance learning and company projects. Lastly, it offers tips on 'finding senior engineers' at conferences or online platforms for mentorship opportunities.

From Author:

Mentorship has a reputation of taking a lot of time and work. But what if it wasn't? Here are ways to get a mentor, be a mentor, and how to navigate it. I have always worked on getting mentors in every corner of my engineering career. I have mentors that do not even know they are my mentor. But I like it that way. I will go into how to get a mentor at any stage of your engineering career and how to be a good mentor/mentee.

This talk has been presented at TechLead Conference 2023, check out the latest edition of this Tech Conference.

FAQ

Erin Fox advocates for a less intimidating approach by starting with smaller, specific questions on less intrusive topics, gradually building a relationship that naturally evolves into mentorship.

Erin aims to demonstrate how to get a mentor subtly, how to be an effective mentor and mentee, and inspire attendees to either become a mentor or a mentee to enhance their careers.

Erin describes good mentorship as a two-way learning street where knowledge is exchanged, and both parties can switch roles between mentor and mentee, sharing their strengths and learning from each other.

Erin suggests taking a direct approach by providing feedback, reevaluating the mentorship goals, and if necessary, taking a pause to reassess or end the mentorship relationship.

The 'Seagull Effect' refers to a situation where a mentor or senior colleague makes significant changes to a project or code and then leaves without resolving issues, leaving the mentee with more confusion and unresolved problems.

Being a good mentee involves being open to learning, showing up prepared, having researched the topic, and respecting and valuing the mentor’s time by being proactive and engaged in the learning process.

At ConvertKit, Erin benefited from a formal mentorship program where she paired with a more experienced engineer, focusing on shared goals and side projects to enhance learning and company projects.

Setting up a formal mentorship program can enhance knowledge sharing, improve team relationships, help with personal and professional growth, and can also lead to successful completion of side projects that benefit the company.

Erin Fox
Erin Fox
21 min
09 Mar, 2023

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Video Transcription

1. Introduction to Mentorship

Short description:

Hello, everyone. I'm Erin Fox, and I'm so excited to be here today at the TechLeague conference to talk about a topic that I'm very passionate about, how to get a mentor without telling them. But as I was refining my talks and key concepts, I noticed that it really should have been called how to get a mentor without telling them, or secretly get a mentee.

Hello, everyone. I'm Erin Fox, and I'm so excited to be here today at the TechLeague conference to talk about a topic that I'm very passionate about, how to get a mentor and not tell them. But as I was refining my talks and key concepts, I noticed that it really should have been called how to get a mentor without telling them, or secretly get a mentee. And a quick side note, if needed, I have this talk in a blog post format. So I tweeted that out earlier today. So if you need some words, feel free to head over to Twitter. My handle is Erin Fox, so it's Erin Fox with two o's if you need some words there.

2. Goals and Approach to Mentorship

Short description:

I'm hoping for a few things from this talk, how to get a mentor without telling them, obviously, how to be a good mentor and a good mentee. And third, of course, I want to help anyone and everyone be inspired to be a mentor or a mentee. We're gonna look into mentorship, particularly engineering mentorship, talk about some tips on how to be a good mentor and a good mentee. And maybe even touch on not maybe we will touch on an example I've had with a not so great mentor and how to handle that and how to recognize it if you're in that situation. And lastly, I'll share three stories from my experience on how I got mentors without asking them. So let's dive in. Engineering mentorship. It has always come very natural for me. So up until a few months ago, I didn't really know how I was getting them or what I was doing, it was a blind spot for me. So when you first think of mentorship, it could sound like a pretty large commitment or intimidating or a lot of time, but I'm hoping to show you that it doesn't necessarily need to be that. My definition of mentorship, specifically engineering mentorship is teach people what you know and how to teach themselves. And in many mentorship relationships, there is usually a mentor and a mentee. And throughout that relationship, these titles can flip back and forth.

And let's go ahead and start off with some goals. So I'm hoping for a few things from this talk, how to get a mentor without telling them, obviously, how to be a good mentor and a good mentee. There's always room for improvement in your career by helping others, mentoring others, being the best mentee that you can be. It can really enrich your career and maybe even your life on how you feel about work and how you show up to work. So really redefining a good engineering career.

And third, of course, I want to help anyone and everyone be inspired to be a mentor or a mentee. And if you're here today, I kind of already bucket you in the category as yourself as someone who's looking to enhance your career. So really, this is a great way to attend this conference and just by listening to this talk. So I already know I'm talking to the right crowd, which is great.

And so how are we going to achieve We're gonna look into mentorship, particularly engineering mentorship, talk about some tips on how to be a good mentor and a good mentee. And maybe even touch on not maybe we will touch on an example I've had with a not so great mentor and how to handle that and how to recognize it if you're in that situation. And lastly, I'll share three stories from my experience on how I got mentors without asking them. So let's dive in.

So engineering mentorship. It has always come very natural for me. So up until a few months ago, I didn't really know how I was getting them or what I was doing, it was a blind spot for me. And so I sat down with my manager to map out strengths for promotion. And she said, You're really at getting people to help you and you help them out so much, you don't really realize it. And so naturally asking for help, putting yourself in vulnerable situations in order to become a better engineer, ends up not only progressing your knowledge and areas, but has the ability to help others further their career, maybe even established a new thread of learning throughout your company or team.

So when you first think of mentorship, it could sound like a pretty large commitment or intimidating or a lot of time, but I'm hoping to show you that it doesn't necessarily need to be that. So if you think about how you approach someone for a conversation, if you come up to them real fast in their face, straight on, like face to face, it can be pretty intimidating. So if someone comes up to you and says, you're really smart, will you be my mentor? That's pretty intimidating. But if you slowly approach someone from the side, like shoulder to shoulder, it's less intimidating. So starting out with something smaller and specific, asking questions, a smaller topic can be very less intrusive than straight on. So smaller topics is more approachable way to get a mentor or a mentee. And that's kind of what I found really has worked for

My definition of mentorship, specifically engineering mentorship is teach people what you know and how to teach themselves. Try to keep it as simple as possible. And in many mentorship relationships, there is usually a mentor and a mentee. And throughout that relationship, these titles can flip back and forth.

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